"...I have learned the secret of being content..."

Philippians 4:12
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

Today as I was looking out the window watching the snow fall softly against the ground, I became angry and started thinking of how the snow was "ruining everything" and though people kept saying how beautiful it was, I could not bring myself to admit it and starting fooling myself into how ugly it was. Though it was true that I didn't like snow very much before today, I have to say, it was even worse this day. Everything was canceled and today was particularly a day I was looking forward to. It truly did ruin everything planned for today. But it did not ruin the day.
I had to catch myself each time I wanted to say how nasty the snow was. The truth was, however, I believed the snow was beautiful. The tiny flakes that fell to the ground - not one of them the same - were captivating. Honestly, one could look at them all day. After a while of not 'catching' myself, I fell into the trap of believing the lies that sprouted in my head from the silly stories I kept saying over and over. "Why do people love snow so much!? I can't see why they think it so beautiful...I daresay it might even be ugly! Who would want to look at tiny drops of water? nothing special." that was the kind of talk that rolled through my head, and I started believing it. However, as the day rolled on, I busied myself with practicing my cello, reading, doing school with my siblings, and tasting some of the delicious muffins my mother threw together, thinking it would be fun on a cold winter day. I decided that if I could not do the things planned then I would not lose the day to sulking. It was the right idea, but the wrong motives. I took on a headstrong, "I'll show it!" (meaning the snow) sort of attitude.
As I looked out the window and saw the snow drifting to the ground, the now white trees that looked simply elegant dressed in the white of snow, and then looking up now at the sky, it seemed actually beautiful. I tried to shake myself out of the idea of thinking snow could be beautiful, it ruined my day, don't forget!
Then suddenly I remembered the people of Haiti, the people on the street who were enduring this blizzard head on while I sat in my room sulking. Then taking the time machine backwards to the times of Caesar, Hitler, Nero, Nebuchadnezzar...these men who attempted power and afflicted pain on all those in their way, and even those who weren't! I became embarrassed. What was I complaining about? My life was a perfect fairytale that showered me with gifts and easy living. I felt no pain. It was true I may have stayed home from an event or two, missed a lesson, didn't get to see a family of friends, and I surely had some right to be dissapointed, but I had felt no pain, hardship, I was not standing in the cold freezing and I was not in the hospital dying. Why was I so upset? The truth of the senseless matter was that- I wasn't upset. I was just feeling sorry for myself. I made a big deal of nothing, fell into the sin of hating one of God's precious creations and spoiling the afternoon. The pain of realizing how foolish I had been was ten times the pain of the plans I had being shattered. My dream day- thats what I had labeled it- and once it was ruined I fell into despair and anger at something that was not to be hated but to be looked upon as the magnificence of God; for His creation is truly wonderful and a beauty. What can compare to the glory of God's creation? How silly we can become when we get trapped in emotions that tear us from reality. Now I look upon my day and think of how I could have done the things in it. Maybe with more joy?

I know this post has been long and I hope I didn't bore you....I think I may have written too many medieval books....

In Christ,
Andrea